*
well oh well. some dude by the name of thomass wanted me to be the lead singer of his band. lol! me=lead singer? hoho tat jus doesnt match! me=guitarist? hell yeah! hak hak. somehow ive always prefer to play an instrument, even thou i suck at it. the feeling is jus way way awesome, compared to jus singing. baah. and that fambo, ermm drummer, suff=guitarist *grin* and naz=back up singer! wahaha! and thomass the keyboard-er. no doubt it sounded so cool but heck, i got my o levels to worri abt! mebbe if they start forming next yr, i might jus be a part of it. jus mebbe.
on the other hand, i think its jus bloody annoying and irritating when u think that ur on the verge of fergeting someone and then after all of ur effort (note this: i say effort. hey, its not eassay to jus ferget someone u rrly lyk, u know), this person did something all of a sudden that makes u think u stand a chance all over again. dammit. i loathe this feeling. i want to let go but its haaaaard. look, hard is not even THE werd. this is the guy whom i lyk for the most inevitable period of my life. FOUR years. and four years is not a short period of time. this is what happens. i went on msn for a while and his status was "away". after which, 1 min later, he changed it to "online". i din want to talk to him becus im always the one saying hi first. not that i mind of course but where's ur initiative dude? okay whatever. then i chatted wit mcbride and manda for a while and then decided to jus appear "offline" but im actually online. the moment i did that, his status changed automatically to "offline". geeez. *sigh* and this stooopid hart of mine is hoping all over again. seriously freak, this MUST stop! im tired of all this. where's ur principle? u are a strong girl and you WILL make it thru this shit. mebbe all these years im jus attracted to him becus of his looks. and it saddens me wheni think abt it. its funny when u dun even know this person well but this bloody asshole can affect ur life tremendously jus by doing mundane things. lyk gazing at u intensely for instance. i know there's more to loving someone than this. ive read TONS of love stories and watch those kind of films. but deep down somewhere in my hart, i jus know that he is the rite one. so how can u let the rite one go jus lyk that? its hard. and im not doing justice for myself. but anyhoo, i shall survive! im a phenomenal woman remember? -wink-
time--> 12.07am [26th july]
[the time and the dates are all wrong. arrgh]